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Here you’ll get a taste for the situations that draw women to work with me and – in their own words - what they’ve got from our sessions. There’s a sprinkling of other feedback too.
Ms L, in her 50s, Brighton, Oxford, Bath...
Dear Jessica
I have just read your latest newsletter ("Stillness") and send my warmest
congratulations on the birth of your beautiful baby daughter.
Stillness....this is something that alluded me for a while as I have been a
restless nomad for the past two years, but I have you to thank of that, and
all the wandering I have done has lead me to a better and more fulfilled life.
My journey started over two years ago when you coached me at a time when I
knew my life had to change direction but I didn't have a clue which way to go.
I was in a job I hated and being bullied, I was scared of the future but did
not want to look back at the past. I was stuck.
I quit my job and moved to Brighton, spent 9 months with friends and family
just chilling and working locally, I out grew Brighton knowing that in the
long term it was not for me. A friend came to stay and she was divorcing her
husband and had a spare room in her house - she lived in Oxford.
I moved to Oxford, worked at the university and gained two horses along way.
Life was good but I was house sharing and getting bored with that. I sent my
horses to Trowbridge to a dear friend who keeps a natural horse yard and I set
my sights on Bath - close enough to Trowbridge and busy enough for me - as not
wanting to live the rural idle just yet and not whilst on my own.
My dream came true and last week I moved to Bath having swapped my Housing
Association flat with a girl in Bath who had a split level basement flat in a
Georgian conversion - this flat I used to see in my dreams sometimes - how
cool is that!
So here I am in Bath - it is beautiful and my horses are just half an hour
away - the city is just breathtaking and Somerset is a dream away from the rat
race.
I have you to thank for all this - as you encouraged me and gave me the
support and the kick up the ass that I needed.
Ms O, Manager, Financial Services
Turning 30 triggered Ms O into evaluating her life, questioning her choices and making comparisons with peers about the shape of her life. We've been working together to set out an inspiring plan for the year ahead.
"I used to feel like my friends were leaving me behind, some own a house, some are married, some have kids and some have all three. Not to mention people with jobs way more amazing than mine. I used to try making plans but never had the steam to follow through with them. Working with Jessica has made me realise that I haven't been left behind, I've just taken a different path. I look forward to my sessions with her as its an opportunity to look at what's happening in my life, build on the successes and learn from what's not going well. We've only had a handful of sessions but I feel like she's known me for ages. She gives me lots of support and encouragement and this is translating into a much more confident, happier and successful me."
Mrs C, Senior Manager, Communications Industry
Mrs C wanted support during her transition from corporate life to a life exploring other things. She’d battled low self-esteem and yoyo dieting for most of her adult life and considered this new chapter in her life the time to tackle it.
“You are an inspiration. I was always re-energised to take on the world, and all my demons, after our sessions. They were inspiring and encouraging and really helped me focus. I want to bottle it and give myself a mini-session each and every morning to make sure I get the most out of the day…”
Ms S, London
Ms S became a client after spotting me in Prima magazine. She was doing well professionally but low confidence and shyness were denting her social and romantic life. Working together to change her approach outside of work led to a promotion as she became more comfortable in a male dominated work space.
S reflecting on the benefits of our coaching experience:
1. A much happier me, which is great.
2. Feeling empowered as opposed to helpless, fed-up and de-motivated.
3. Increased social life.
4. Able to define boundaries, make decisions much more confidently, objectively and feeling comfortable with this. Previously, I made decisions from a weaker-self resulting in feeling even more helpless!
5. Realising that the biggest change is changing my mind-set which will automatically propel me into an environment where I can achieve/attract the things I want, instead of worrying about them.”
Mrs D, Marketing Manager, Continental Europe
Mrs D and I began working together when she was adapting to a new life abroad and managing a stressful time trying to get pregnant. In our sessions we mapped out career goals, strategies to reduce the stress of waiting to become a mother and how to enjoy the life she was in now. Self reports of feeling calmer and more relaxed as a result of our coaching sessions probably played a role in her becoming pregnant. I asked her how her thinking and behaviour had changed since working together:
“I am better able to cope with things and to put things into perspective. I see my life as a whole now and not in parts. I also recognise negative thinking better in myself and can stop myself feeling negative. I’m not so much of a victim. I actually feel calmer too – and encourage my husband to be calmer too. I don’t get as stressed as I used to. My work is going well. I’m now pregnant! Life is good.”
Ms R, Rising to a challenging promotion, Hertfordshire
Working for a small and growing organisation, R was given a big promotion in her late twenties. The business required her to take on a team management role and a doubling of activities almost overnight. My role was to support, encourage and to act as a sounding board as she adjusted. I’ve enjoyed watching her develop and flourish after a stressful start when she wanted to jack it in. She says having an external confidante to whom she can talk with complete frankness has been an enormous help.
SL, Adventurer, Sussex
An outgoing fifty-something, SL came to me post-divorce to see how much better life could get. Her life has changed dramatically as she’s got to grips with what really makes her happy. Shunning shopping (I simply beamed the session she told me shopping for handbags was vacuous), relocating, moving jobs and reconnecting with old passions over the last 18 months has been an adventure and a wonderful story of self-actualisation. She still writes to me with her latest developments and it’s clear she sees life as being about the journey and not the destination.
“Thank you for helping to guide me along in my journey and this next exciting stage of my life. I have so many plans and ideas in my head that I think I will explode with excitement.”
Deborah Brown, Learning & Development Consultant
”I just wanted to say a quiet thank you for your monthly missive which I enjoy reading so much. It’s always beautifully written and so insightful and never fails to make me stop and think – it’s kind of humbling to be on the receiving end of something that has so much value but for which I feel I haven’t ‘paid’ in some way. I’m not sure how often in life we offer unsolicited praise (as opposed to a complaint, for example) but I wanted to let you know that your efforts are greatly appreciated by at least one person.”
Lesley Davis, Head of Learning, Marks & Spencer
Reflecting on a Mind Gym 'Team Spirit' coaching session I ran for M&S,
September 2007:
”May I thank you again for working so decisively and responsively to make the Team Spirit workout happen at short notice. It didn't just go well....it went fantastically well! A summary below:
Jan Ibbott, Executive Director of the Women in Business Network.
“Jessica is a special and inspirational woman. She makes you feel that you can conquer any aspect of your life that needs attention. She truly is an exceptional coach.”
Ms R, Legal Executive, London
Ms R is an easy-going thirty-something, working in the legal profession. Professionally all was sound but personally, destructive thinking and low confidence meant frequent tears. The trigger for getting in touch was an article I wrote for Limited Edition magazine about thoughts shaping what we feel and do. Over three months Ms R’s habits and thoughts altered to a point where she looks and sounds brighter every time we met and the things she's doing and thinking have shifted significantly. We’re still working on the way she frames her thoughts – you’ll notice below that she talks about being ‘less stressed’ and ‘less anxious’ for example – you could say she feels ‘more calm’ and ‘more self-assured.’
After 8 coaching sessions Ms R reflecting on the benefits:
“Overall I am much more positive. Specifically: I feel less anxious and stressed, I find it easier to get out of feeling a bit down and overall I feel much happier, because I am not so worried about not measuring up (not so worried by social situations and have enjoyed them more without them being nerve-wracking). I feel more able to stop negative thinking and reposition thinking back again. I am less anxious about being alone and feel less that am beyond hope in that regard! And finally, I am eating less and better and exercising more; and if I have a bad day or days I bounce back rather than just falling off the wagon.”
Tonya Williams, Innergym Founder & Owner, Hertfordshire.
“Thank you so much for your enthusiasm, professionalism and patience and of all the life coaches I’ve met and received details of I felt yours was the most natural and inspiring. I’d have no hesitation recommending you to others, friends and clients alike…”
DD, Wedding Wonders, Hertfordshire.